Thanks for reading my WordPress blog, and thanks very much for the kind feedback you’ve all left for me.

However, I’d like to announce that I’ve moved. You can now find me over at the Unmemorable Title SEO & Copywriting Blog

I hope to see you all there very soon!

Andrew

The Top Five SEO Misconceptions

With any cutting edge or continually changing industry, there’s always going to be a gap between what the professionals and the clients know. When that industry’s in constant flux, the knowledge gap can suddenly become a yawning chasm of misunderstandings and misconceptions.

Therefore, it’ll probably come as no surprise to a great number of people that sometimes people just don’t get SEO. It’s this lack of understanding that lets people call us “Snake Oil” salesmen, and to disparage the hard work that we do. But before we tackle these misconceptions, we need to identify them.

1) Meta Keywords are the Holy Grail.
Any of you with even a basic understanding of SEO are about to type something along the lines of “1995 called – they want their search algorithms back.” The sad fact of the matter is that some clients have still told us that their last SEO company just filled their meta tags full of spam and pocketed the fee. The more people that understand the much-maligned meta keywords tag, the less opportunity there’ll be for unscrupulous and uninformed types to take them for a ride.

2) SEO companies have access to a Search Engine Hotline.
“Can’t you just call Google and get them to index my site today?” As ludicrous as this question seems, it actually makes some sense. Do any other complimentary industries have the same lack of direct communication that Search Engines and SEOs have? Explaining that we can’t call Yahoo head office is an important part of managing client expectations – especially when it comes to the next misconception.

3) Results are instant.
We’ve optimised the content, sourced some quality links and made sure the site’s as accessible as possible – “so why haven’t my listings changed? It’s been a week!” In a world of instant communication, instant gratification and instant coffee, it’s hard to explain to a client that the Search Engines might not even index the site for up to a month. Making sure everyone knows the timescales involved in SEO is key to avoiding disappointment.

4) Being a market leader automatically entitles you to the top spot.
“I’m a 5* hotel, they’re a pokey b&b – so why are they top and I’m on page three?” Explaining that your word of mouth reputation isn’t automatically linked to your online reputation is crucial to helping newcomers to SEO understand how the process works. By showing them that time, effort and patience can get the underdog to top spot, you’re showing them the power of SEO and managing their expectations.

5) There’s a magic “Top of the SERPs” code.
The number of people that think they can hit the top of the SERPs without making changes to their website is staggering. It’s enticing to believe that there’s some magic button that can be pushed so they can reap rewards with minimal effort, but it’s important to let them know that there’s no cheat code. Even though it is tempting to tell them that if they put into the code, their competition will be Doomed.

As SEO professionals, it’s our job to educate and inform our clients about how what we do works. If we’re open and transparent about our efforts, and tackle these misunderstandings head on, then the industry as a whole can benefit. Can’t it?

From my searching, I’ve managed to cobble together some website optimisation hints that will provide strong foundations for any blog or website.

The Three Key Areas

1) The site’s URL: The first thing Search Engines look at is the site’s URL. If you want to be found for “website optimisation hints”, make sure your url has the keywords in. Obviously if you can register keyword.com instead of random.wordpress.com/date/time/squirrel/keyword, you’ll be better off, but let’s do the best with what we’ve got.

2) The site or article’s Browser Title: Make sure the keyword’s in the title too – because the SE crawlers look at it next, and your searchers look at it first when it pops up in the rankings. People are more likely to click on a result mentioning their query than one with your attempt at caustic humour.

3) The site’s Content: The most authoritative website optimisation hints I’ve seen all mention keyword density – even if they never agree on what the optimum density is. A rule of thumb is to sneak the keywords in about five times per 200 words. Just remember that Google doesn’t get punctuation, so in the interests of keeping your copy fresh, try and be a bit clever with your website optimisation. Hints on how to do that can be found pretty much anywhere.

The Test

Now of course there’s a myriad of other factors to consider – number of backlinks, quality of backlinks, age of domain, reputation – but I have seen proof that these three key areas can have a dramatic effect.

Let’s take a look at our two contenders – one a heavyweight giant of online information, one a contender that sabotaged its own chance at world domination. Ladies and gentlemen, let’s welcome to the ring Wikipedia and h2g2. Wiki has the edge when it comes to links, but URLs don’t come much more reputable than Auntie Beeb. An even fight, surely?

One bout – to see who ranks highest for the search term “Battle of Waterloo” on a google.co.uk search, and to see just how applicable these website optimisation hints are. Ding ding, lets rumble.

Ladies and gentlemen, a clear winner.

Position 1 – Wikipedia
Not anywhere on the first ten pages – h2g2

The Tale of the Tape

URLs
wikipedia.org/wiki/Battle_of_Waterloo vs bbc.co.uk/dna/h2g2/A5403881
A clear victory for Wiki as h2g2′s quaint A-Numbering system gives the Search Engines nothing whatsoever to work with. Also, the fact that wiki’s article is only three layers down as opposed to hootoo’s four must count against the Beeb’s offering.

Browser Titles
Battle of Waterloo – Wikipedia, the free encylopedia vs BBC – h2g2 – The Battle of Waterloo, 1815
Wiki leads with the keywords, whereas the Beeb’s need to self promote first and inform second counts against it massively. Keyword order looks to be a factor, so get the important keywords in first.

Site Content
Wikipedia has four exact instances of the key phrase in the first two paragraphs, where h2g2 can only muster two exact instances throughout. Unfortunately for the searcher, h2g2′s article is actually more engaging and interesting, if lacking wikipedia’s onslaught of data.

Rematch?

Interestingly, if you change your search to “Battle of Waterloo 1815“, h2g2 springs to 5th in the table thanks to having 1815 in the browser title (and the fact that there are fewer results). Proof positive if any more was needed, that some website optimisation hints should be followed by the BBC’s powers that be, and that the trinity of URL, title, content can work wonders for your listings.

h2g2 is the brainchild of the late Douglas Adams, and was intended to be the “Earth Edition of the Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy”. Sort of a Wikipedia three years before the Wiki concept. Now it survives on the BBC website as a combination message board / writing workshop / Peer Reviewed encyclopaedia. It’s this combination that makes h2g2 such an attractive prospect for fledgling writers.

Community

A message board seems like a strange thing to tout as helpful to writers, but the h2g2 community is much more than just a forum. Regardless of what you choose to write, the community will be your audience. By interacting with other researchers, you’ll learn how to gauge what an audience is looking for from your pieces. Are they Edited Guide readers looking to be informed? Fiction readers looking to be entertained? Readers of the fortnightly newsletter who are looking for a little of both? If trying to work out just what this disparate group of users wants is a daunting task, don’t worry – the community isn’t just your audience. It’s also your teacher.

Writing Workshop

There’s nothing more dispiriting to the beginner (or indeed any writer) than having to thrust your latest piece under the noses of disinterested friends and family and hope that someone can give you helpful feedback. Having people who will read, evaluate and comment on your work is good for both writing style and morale. However, being able to smile while people tell you how wonderful and promising your pieces are is one thing – being able to take the harshest constructive criticisms they can throw at you is another. When your teacher turns critic, you’ll soon develop the thick skin needed to become a successful writer.

Peer Review

Every entry submitted to the Edited Guide must first pass scrutiny in h2g2’s Peer Review. Here the site’s sub editors, pedants and anyone passing through will dissect your work and let you know just what they think. However, constructive criticism is something every good writer has to take into account – and a pedantic sub editor is nothing compared to a paying client. By exposing yourself to harsh but fair criticism, you’ll be developing skills crucial to your career.

There is one final reason to take a look at this hidden gem – it’s not every day you get an opportunity to join a welcoming and friendly community who can help you fulfil your writing potential. So what are you waiting for? Don’t Panic! Dive in.

Take a look at this piece of sputum on a bunch of villagers running Google’s streetview car out of town.

1: Ludicrous Titles

A good headline is a key weapon in any writer’s arsenal. A good title should reel in the reader. By asking a question or setting up an intriguing scenario, you’ll appeal to a reader’s natural curiosity. A well thought out title will act as a springboard for your article. A bad title can alienate readers before they even know what your argument is. However, a ludicrous, hyperbole-riddled overstatement of a title will make you appear desperate. Describing a handful of small-minded rural types shouting at a car as an “English Revolt” seeing off a crack brigade of “Google Spies” is about as ludicrous as you can get.

2: Underwhelming Evidence

The first trick any persuasive writer knows is the “rule of three”. Using three pieces of compelling evidence lends weight to your argument. Using two weak examples makes your pitch look woefully underpowered. Weak examples like claiming a freedom fighter is big news in “Norway and Turkey”. Really? Both?

3: Wild Accusations Make You Look Foolish

When you’re writing for an audience who wear their predjudices on their sleeves, it can be incredibly tempting to whip them up into a fervour to generate a response. However, this runs the risk of alienating any new readers. For example, when the majority of your informed casual readership are excited about 3d maps, labelling it an “encyclopedia for the burglaring fraternity” makes you look like a reactionary luddite.

4: Monitor Your Comments

Not strictly a writing tip, but when you write a piece designed to generate debate and comment, keep an eye on your readership. If you’re cultivating a reputation as an intelligent and articulate blogger, the last thing you need is ill-thought out rants colouring people’s views of your content. However, if you’re a purveyor of emergency toilet paper, feel free to let Angry of Mansfield claim that a photo album is “a national security risk.”

Now don’t get me wrong here – I’m just glad to be doing my bit for the kids, dahlink, but after three hours of re-writing a special school’s website I’ve noticed something troubling.

It’s written as a piece of marketing.

Now this shouldn’t trouble me in the slightest. Over the past few years I’ve written copy for everyone from coat hanger manufacturers to Brazilian property investors, and I’ve mostly enjoyed it (even if one of the companies I worked for turned out to be populated almost exclusively with egotistical halfwits), but there’s something slightly out of kilter with a special school that has a corporate ethos. The raison d’etre of a specialist school is to provide care for those that need it most. From a copy point of view, that’s elegantly simple. “We exist to help kids”.  It’s touching, persuasive and verging ever-so-slightly on the inspiring. Unfortunately, that’s not what’s on the current site.

The current site’s “Mission Statement” goes on for 600 words, explaining how they strive to meet government targets and offer a “unique, end-user focussed care system that enables blah, blah blah.” I’m sure somewhere some coke-filled marketing exec creamed his chinos over that one, thinking he’s done something groundbreaking.

He has. He’s done something so groundbreaking that I wouldn’t have thought it possible. He wrote a sentence that made me look at a website about a school that looks after severely disadvantaged children and make me think “wankers“.

Needless to say, my final effort’s much shorter. Or it will be if I ever get it finished.

Media Hypocrisy.

Admittedly, media hypocrisy is on the same tautological level as ‘wet water‘, but the about turns taken by some media outlets have been tremendous.

Take good ol’ Auntie Beeb for example. The broadcaster has spent most of the 21st Century showing us how to make use of cheap credit to buy a battered house, do some creative botching with MDF for a couple of quid, and then sell it on to some poor unassuming punter for a hugely inflated price. Now the credit crunch has kicked in to full flow and we’re all living in skips, the Beeb has stopped showing “Artificial Inflation” and started showing screeching news bulletins where economy experts berate us all for taking out ridiculous loans in order to buy run-down houses after seeing some TV brainfart. 

But even this “Get cheap credit – no – wait – why have you taken out a loan you moron!” backflip is put to shame by the way that the rags have decided  ”RACIST BULLY JADE” (Daily Mirror 1/04/2007), the national disgrace is now BRAVE JADE (Daily Mirror 14/02/2009), the national heroine. In the bleak face of the facts, she’s neither. She’s an ill-educated boor who seized her fifteen minutes of fame and was then struck down by an awful illness. The black and white facts of Jade Goody’s story are more than enough to let anyone with a passing interest decide what they think of her, but the press insist on keeping her centre stage. Whether as a figure of hate or a figure of pity, Jade Goody shifts papers. The sad thing is that she doesn’t shift them because of talent – she shifts them for the same reason idiots spent money they never had on MDF and subsiding houses. 

Jade Goody’s the credit crunch in reverse – she’s been thrust into our homes and taken from irrelevancy, to the villain, to a martyr. The legacy of her sad tale is that now the gutter press won’t just make you live in the glare of a camera – they’ll make you die there too. Be you a z-list celebrity or a system of world economics, they’ll gild your pedestal and then tear it down.

2009

Duckspeak Doublegood.

Oddspeak Doubleplusungood.

Or, to put it in slightly less Orwellian terms:

It’s 2009. The wonderful bastardised mishmash that is the English Language is shrinking. Not quite in premeditated and calculated way of Orwell’s Newspeak, but in the same way that an unused appendage will atrophy and wither. 

Gone are the long, flowing and articulate sentences of the past, awash with character and charm. Replaced with the clipped and calculated Duckspeak of a mass media designed to whip the masses into a frenzy.

What opportunity for a coherent response is there when headlines screech and scream that the enemies are at your gates, amongst your children?

Desperate times call for desperate measures. The fast-paced media climate means that it isn’t enough for a news outlet to inform you. They require you to take them into your life. Hate when we say hate. Love when we say love. Grieve when we say grieve. “Here they are” scream the papers – “those who you must emulate and adore, those who you must shun and loathe. And we? We are the truth, the arbiters of the line between the one and the other.” Information and investigation has been replaced by brand awareness and mob culture.

But what of the people? A society’s vocabulary isn’t the sole charge of those who print the words. The media and the masses are intertwined – one must necessarily reflect the other. And the people have been bamboozled and browbeaten. Quantity and speed far outweighs quality and thoughtfulness. Why identify with an amusing anecdote when a hastily typed “lol” will do? Terrorist attack? “omg“. Dead Princess? “rip“. Three keystrokes and your sentiments on any subject can be thrown into the bear pit of the “interactive” media.

It’s not a matter of being asked to jump and replying “how high”.

JUMP! (Or else terrorist immigrants will eat your children)

“k“